on being engaged in America

I'm not sure if it's the American "go go go" mentality, but I noticed something this past week:  If you don't have a wedding date, a caterer, a venue, a dress, a website with details for guests... It's not enough to be engaged. It's not enough that a couple has decided to spend their lives together. It's not enough that he asked and she said yes. And it's not enough that they're starting to wedding plan but haven't been able to get very far because of their busy schedules.

Aside from the pressure of setting a date, our self-centered society has turned from excitement about an engagement to "you can't do x date because I have...". This wedding is about a marriage. If you have a prior engagement, we will understand; but I promise you that I am not going to pick a date based on everyone else's schedules.

To all of the couples in my life who have been engaged, and to whom I have excitedly asked (and maybe even multiple times) when is the wedding date, where is the wedding, details, details, and more details... Sorry! (Actually, let me go back- to those of you who are super close to me, I'm not sorry- you expected that from me. But a sorry to those I'm not close with- to coworkers, acquaintances, friends of friends.)

I am loving being engaged, day-dreaming about our perfect wedding and what I will be thinking at the altar and what he will say and how exhausted we will be from dancing the night away. So next time you see me, and the twelve times after that, rather than asking me if we have set a date yet or picked a venue, or telling me when would be most convenient for you to attend, talk to me about how fun it is to be engaged.

And when you get your save the date in the mail, then we can talk about the wedding plans. And then you can start asking me when we're going to have children.


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