Tuesday, October 1, 2013

on being engaged in America

I'm not sure if it's the American "go go go" mentality, but I noticed something this past week:  If you don't have a wedding date, a caterer, a venue, a dress, a website with details for guests... It's not enough to be engaged. It's not enough that a couple has decided to spend their lives together. It's not enough that he asked and she said yes. And it's not enough that they're starting to wedding plan but haven't been able to get very far because of their busy schedules.

Aside from the pressure of setting a date, our self-centered society has turned from excitement about an engagement to "you can't do x date because I have...". This wedding is about a marriage. If you have a prior engagement, we will understand; but I promise you that I am not going to pick a date based on everyone else's schedules.

To all of the couples in my life who have been engaged, and to whom I have excitedly asked (and maybe even multiple times) when is the wedding date, where is the wedding, details, details, and more details... Sorry! (Actually, let me go back- to those of you who are super close to me, I'm not sorry- you expected that from me. But a sorry to those I'm not close with- to coworkers, acquaintances, friends of friends.)

I am loving being engaged, day-dreaming about our perfect wedding and what I will be thinking at the altar and what he will say and how exhausted we will be from dancing the night away. So next time you see me, and the twelve times after that, rather than asking me if we have set a date yet or picked a venue, or telling me when would be most convenient for you to attend, talk to me about how fun it is to be engaged.

And when you get your save the date in the mail, then we can talk about the wedding plans. And then you can start asking me when we're going to have children.

image via


  1. Word!!! I'm going through this now, too. It can be so frustrating!
    Isn’t That Charming.

  2. People can be so silly and petty - pay them no mind and enjoy this time!! It will be gone far too fast and you will be trying to get used to calling him your husband :)
    Congratulations on your engagement by the way, how exciting!!!

    I am dreaming of the day I am engaged and plan to languish in that rosy glow for as long as I wish without planning a darn thing xo

  3. Aw man. now I feel bad for asking a bunch of questions to all my newly engaged friends! I remember someone once telling me that if you don't have a date set up in the first few months the wedding is just not going to happen. And even me, all naive with my naked ring finger thought "well what if they're busy?"

    Congratulations on your engagement and best of luck keeping everything lighthearted, loving, and FUN right up until the big day (and beyond!)

    With Luck Blog
    Glasses Giveaway

    1. Thanks! I'm trying to have fun with it without putting too much pressure on myself :)


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